You Gave Your Kids Life. Now Are You Sucking It Away?

Parenting

I've been a dad for 8 months. What credibility do I have parenting? Zilch. I've been a son for 29 years and worked with youth for 5. What experience do I have with parents? Much. Today is a loaded blog post. It's meant to help you recognize shortcomings and course correct. Don't get bitter. Get better. I'll put myself on the block first. Then you.

Suck

I think I suck life from Graciana when I watch TV with her. She'll want to play and I'm dazed at the screen. My grandpa called it the idiot box. Eventually, I'll hear her whimpering and snap out of it. If I keep TV, it won't be long before I see a keg for a belly and a woman for a daughter. Stupid television sucks life. And I've been letting it happen like a passive milquetoast.

Some 'rents suck the life out of their children. Angry, critical, emotionally calloused and physically distant are words that best describe their parenting model. This may be you if you:

• Give one-word answers

• Rarely say sorry

• Listen closely for faults when your kids talk

• Hint at their weight

• Rarely ask them about the music they like

• Talk to your kids mostly about stuff they've done wrong

• Rarely seek advice from other parents

• Have yet to take your kids on a date this summer

• Rarely laugh with your kids

• Make a funny face at them

• Rarely hug them

• Built a pillow fort with them

Give

I think I give life to Graciana when I sing to her. It sounds like I got captured by ISIS. But she loves it.

Some parents give life to their children by providing encouragement, strength, emotional connection and physical affection. This may be you if you:

• Talk to your kids with enthusiasm

• Compliment their abilities

• Mitigate their disabilities

• Tell them you love them - explain why

• Give them ownership of something - applaud the results

• Teach them a new skill

• Show interest in their stories by saying "Wow!" and "Really!"

• Cry with them

• Smile at them

• Snuggle, smooch, dance, tickle them

• Build, cook, paint, sing stuff with them

Conclusion

I tried to give a million examples because you wouldn't feel convicted unless one perfectly applied to you. I hope I sunk your battleship.

Bottom line, parent's investment = kid's refreshment. When we invest well, our kids are refreshed and usually grow up refreshed. When we invest badly, well we've seen that story too many times before. Folks hold mommy and daddy issues to the grave. Let's work on this. I'll be in the front of the line.

Practical Questions

• Because all parents need advice:

• What do you do to give life to your kids?

• OR

• What did your parents do to give life to you?

#RockGymMonday