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You Gave Your Kids Life. Now Are You Sucking It Away?

Peter Stancato III
Aug 4, 2017
2 min read

Parenting

I've been a dad for 8 months. What credibility do I have parenting? Zilch. I've been a son for 29 years and worked with youth for 5. What experience do I have with parents? Much. Today is a loaded blog post. It's meant to help you recognize shortcomings and course correct. Don't get bitter. Get better. I'll put myself on the block first. Then you.

Suck

I think I suck life from Graciana when I watch TV with her. She'll want to play and I'm dazed at the screen. My grandpa called it the idiot box. Eventually, I'll hear her whimpering and snap out of it. If I keep TV, it won't be long before I see a keg for a belly and a woman for a daughter. Stupid television sucks life. And I've been letting it happen like a passive milquetoast.

Some 'rents suck the life out of their children. Angry, critical, emotionally calloused and physically distant are words that best describe their parenting model. This may be you if you:

Give one-word answers
Rarely say sorry
Listen closely for faults when your kids talk
Hint at their weight
Rarely ask them about the music they like
Talk to your kids mostly about stuff they've done wrong
Rarely seek advice from other parents
Have yet to take your kids on a date this summer
Rarely laugh with your kids
Make a funny face at them
Rarely hug them
Built a pillow fort with them

Give

I think I give life to Graciana when I sing to her. It sounds like I got captured by ISIS. But she loves it.

Some parents give life to their children by providing encouragement, strength, emotional connection and physical affection. This may be you if you:

Talk to your kids with enthusiasm
Compliment their abilities
Mitigate their disabilities
Tell them you love them - explain why
Give them ownership of something - applaud the results
Teach them a new skill
Show interest in their stories by saying "Wow!" and "Really!"
Cry with them
Smile at them
Snuggle, smooch, dance, tickle them
Build, cook, paint, sing stuff with them

Conclusion

I tried to give a million examples because you wouldn't feel convicted unless one perfectly applied to you. I hope I sunk your battleship.

Bottom line, parent's investment = kid's refreshment. When we invest well, our kids are refreshed and usually grow up refreshed. When we invest badly, well we've seen that story too many times before. Folks hold mommy and daddy issues to the grave. Let's work on this. I'll be in the front of the line.

Practical Questions