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Eglin 4/13: Ladies, Do You Like Your Man Bearded or No?

Peter Stancato III
Jul 20, 2017
2 min read

I Just Love Your _______.

What do women appreciate about one another? Necklaces? Bangs? Handbags? I really don't know. I know they'll say, "I just love your _______." But I don't know what's the top thing women notice. It's probably everything. So you can put anything in that blank and it'll work.

Well

Men notice one thing about each other. Beards. You got a nice beard, you're cool. You know how you can just stare at a camp fire for hours? It's mesmerizing right? Well I can stare at beards. Brick from Anchorman loved lamp. I love beards and I'm not alone.

Sadly

Some can't grow a beard. And they'll tell you about it too. Every guy knows exactly where his beard lacks.

"Yea, I get a patch here, and here, but nothing over here"
"Yea, my stache doesn't connect"
"I just get a sweet neck beard"
"Yea, my side burns don't fully grow in"

Voice Your Opinion

Ladies, do you like your man bearded or no? Firstly, you should answer that question. Secondly, if you choose bearded, what type of beard are we talking? Full Grizzly Adams? Mutton chops? Conquistador? Woolly bear stache? Denzel stache? Adolf stache? Neck beard? King Leonidas? Fu manchu? Goatee? Soul patch? Sandpaper? Scruff? Chin strap? Thirdly, tell him what you like. Fourth, let him grow it out and get situated. Fifth, continually compliment his facial hair. Continually.

Conclusion

Here's the deal, guys only compliment each other on facial hair. It's the only thing we notice. It's the only thing we're allowed to compliment. I've heard women say, "I don't know how to encourage my man. I don't know what to say." Try this – "Hey babe, your neck beard's on point! You're looking great." Any man would love that. I miss those days. Now I have to shave once-a-month. I wish I could have my beard back. I used to rake in compliments. Not so much from Amanda. But definitely from bros, because my Leonidas was kingly: